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Prepare the pudding:
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the milk and French vanilla pudding mix until it thickens (about 2 minutes).
Mix cream cheese and condensed milk:
In a separate bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until smooth. Gradually add the sweetened condensed milk, mixing well until creamy and fully combined.
Combine mixtures:
Fold the cream cheese mixture into the prepared pudding until smooth.
Add whipped topping:
Gently fold in the thawed whipped topping (or whipped cream) until evenly mixed and fluffy.
Layer the pudding:
In a large dish or trifle bowl, start with a layer of vanilla wafers, then add a layer of sliced bananas. Pour a layer of pudding mixture over the bananas. Repeat the layers until all ingredients are used, finishing with a layer of pudding on top.
Chill:
Cover the dish and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight, to allow flavors to meld and the wafers to soften.
Serve:
Garnish with extra vanilla wafers or banana slices if desired, then serve chilled.
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